Rebecca Maberly from parenting website Doctoranddaughter.co.uk endured her fair share of irritating comments during her two pregnancies. Here she shares the five things you should NEVER say to a pregnant woman.
We suggest you pass them on too!
1. You’re HUUUUGE! Wow and you’re not even due for another two months?
“Errr yes… there is another human growing inside my tummy…with two arms and legs and a head and everything..did you think that wouldn’t show?”
Pregnant women come in all shapes and sizes and the way in which you carry your baby is quite often determined by not only the size of the baby but also your anatomy. If you are short with a small abdomen area then you may show more than a taller woman with a longer body. If you are a bit overweight, your bump may be slightly more padded than your skinny friend. If it is your second, third or more baby then it is likely that you will look bigger than a first time mother at the same stage as your muscle tone will not quite be what it used to be.. It’s really not brain science!
Just like normal women do not like to be told they are too thin or too fat, nor do pregnant women like to be told they are huge or tiny for their dates – so bite your tongue and just tell her she looks great!
Check out some of our top tips for dealing with pregnancy
2. My friend was in labour for 4 days
And then had to have forceps and had a 4th degree tear and the baby is now 18 months and still doesn’t sleep and she and her husband still haven’t had sex!
Perhaps this is all true, but do you know what? A happy pregnant woman does not want to know this. Maybe she wants to remain blissfully unaware of the horror stories and concentrate on her own vision of whale music and aromatherapy oils whilst she breathes that baby out (and if she is lucky she may well get that).
We always know someone who had the “worst” time and but not every birth/baby experience is the same. For every “horror” story with blood and gore there is an amazing story of a dreamy waterbirth, so why not focus on the positives. Tthere is no harm in educating your self about other possible scenarios but there is no reason to think that your birth will be a bad experience)
Read some of our inspirational Birth Stories here
3. I can tell it’s a boy because it’s all out front!
Yawn!!! All baby bumps are out front. They are all different shapes and sizes depending on things like muscle tone, whether or not it is a first baby, shape and size of anatomy of mother and baby…and its is not possible to guess the sex from looking at a bump.
If they have had a gender test and they want to share, chances are they will. If they haven’t had it then the chances of guessing by looking at the bump are 50/50!
Also..PLEASE no comments “you already have a girl…must be dying for a boy”…OR ..”you have a boy…must be dying for a girl”
A) THIS IS NOT ALWAYS TRUE
B) EVEN IF IT IS TRUE THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT!
Read about this and other pregnancy myths here
4. Get ready for your life to be over!
Oh wow helpful comment… Thanks!
Yes there will be sleepless nights ahead, and periods of tiredness and complete desperation, but none of this will last. Every new mother should be taught the mantra “Everything is a phase”.
As your baby grows and starts to sleep better, you will be able to reclaim your life piece by piece and before you know it you will rediscover the old you. Of course, life will be different, but hopefully in many positive ways that you will embrace and learn to adapt to. Yes the long lazy lie-ins will become a thing of the past, but life will be far from over!
5. Sleep now…because you won’t be able to for the next 10 years
Yes we all know that babies don’t sleep and therefore neither do their mothers, but sleep is not like money! You cannot save it up and store it! Catching a few extra hours shut eye in the weeks before the baby is due does not necessarily set you up for the next few months.
Also, this comment is not very helpful if you JUST CAN’T SLEEP! If you’re suffering from heartburn, frequent trips to the loo, aching hips, anxiety about the birth, or just unexplained sleeplessness then a solid 8 hours sleep might be easier said than done!
Read our top sleeping tips here